B is for Stealing

Twas the days before Christmas And all through the blog Not a creature was stirring EXCEPT... for this audio log. Pax other audio commentaries found here and here and here among others [heheheheh] special thanks to these sites for the use of these pictures: Mandark picture found here - Black birds found here and here and here and here skeletons found here – heman found here – the crow –brandon lee] found here – “the birds” here Fantasia in g minor by Bach [i got that right...right?]

so i cut my hair. i cut my hair and shaved my beard. i cut my hair and shaved my beard and i look and feel better. then sunday night, i walked past the mirror and thought, "i miss my hair." it's amazing! how often have we had situations that we wanted to get out of or from under and when we do - some of us - a twinge of nostalgia hits us, we yearn for yesterday, with all its madness and frustrations if only... because it is so comfortable or rather, WE have BECOME so comfortable with it. but change is not the enemy. change is not the enemy. change makes you look better :-) pax me

I think I now know why I’m single. I… I love musicals. Like, I have “Be Italian” – sung by Stacy Ferguson (Fergie) and “Cinema Italiano” sung by Kate Hudson IN MY IPOD ALREADY! It is on perma-repeat. I love musicals. Rent Chicago Sweeney Todd I have the original AND the movie soundtracks. I have to get CATS. I should. Musicals take me to a place where people dance their speech. They sing their pain. They kiss passionately and bit their lovers’ lips while tears drip from their veins… I like musicals because my life is a theatrical production all its own. I walk with an umbrella and twirl into my elevator. I see the doors closing and I pose automatically. I can see myself outside my self as I make a move or say a sentence or lie in my bed. I am a musical. I just haven’t written it yet. Anyways! See the trailer for NINE here and like yourself too. “Be Italian! Live today as if it may…. Be… come… your laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast!” [ pax] all shots seen here are the property of

I was reading the introduction to the book of Philippians from what is called “The Student Bible”. And in part of it, the writer said this – “during the Christmas season we celebrate the grand night God visited the earth as a baby. But to the rest of the universe, the event looked like an astounding humiliation. God, the Creator of all, took on the unimpressive body of a human being to endure a confining life and grisly death on planet earth.” As I read that, something struck me like never before. Imagine in the dead of the night, all the spirits, all the “gods”, all the strong supernatural forces standing on earth wherever they are. Looking up at the sky. Or looking across to the manger scene. Some of them, fold their hands in disgust – why would a God Son come here… like that? like one of them? Some of them watch – almost hyperventilating – I wonder what God is up to? What is this about? Some of them, having watched the fanfare of the angels probably thought – yeah but… a baby? You k

Thursday: while watching a friend in pain. i know this pain. i've seen it in my house. in my space. and even in my body - perhaps a different name but the same spirit type: "today i realised that i suck as a man and i am useless as a 'god'." Friday: while trying to figure out what... do... i really want: "dear Lord help me to stop lying. like the time i said 'i want them to be happy' but you know i could care less about anybody's happiness right now except the chosen few. ok... maybe just myself. help... again." Bonus: while walking home twirling the people umbrella like a sword: "on the night before the seer grasped his madness, while he was yet a knight, he removed his helmet and shield and said to his lord, 'here master, take your sword and your sanity.' the master... obliged."

Flipping amazing! Last night (well I’m actually writing this Sunday night but for the sake of posting purposes…. Anyways), I found my books! As I browsed through the pages I felt so high and so wondrously, deliriously happy. I suspect that’s how people in love feel. Hopefully all the time. Hidden in boxes under my bed; covered over with sheets of dust, was knowledge! Glorious knowledge. Philosophy kind of knowledge. I found: Notes from the underground – [which I had all but presumed dead] Four out of six of my Narnia series – [from “A horse and his boy” to “The final battle”] Jonathan Livingstone Seagull – [oh… wow! best birthday gift ever! After Kahlil] Roll Call – [Paul Keens Douglas is a beautiful storyteller] A time to kill – [John Grisham… wondrous!] Love and Longing in Bombay – [Vikram Chandra – never read him but ok, wow] Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH – [I have a vague idea where that came from but…] I found some other books and some

(Broken) Cathedral… (words from friends) What. What has befallen the cathedral? What midnight witch has set a curse upon this house… and given birth to turbulence? They were gods, you know. Young gods. And they blessed us with their love. Her power lay in his words And his… Lay in the scent of her hair. And we who were privileged to draw near to their space, Their place Knew what love was. Stained between sheets of glass. Etched in marble. Her finger nails carved out his sighs and we echoed it like a prayer. But now, ill mannered birds circle the sanctuary And that which is vile lives there. The rain exposes our tears. Come! Bring the oils. Retrieve the texts. Maybe we can save this place, make it a safe place. With a kiss… And a prayer… And maybe the “gods” would return there. 01:11:09

click the picture Mark Yuh Work - a film celebrating MANF - produced by artzpub films (a division of artzpub). written, directed, produced by Darryn Boodan , edited by Tracy Hutchings, executive producer ARTZPUB FILMS, equipment FirsttFloor, transportation Sheldon G. Pierre, still photography MANF, Rodell Warner , original music Justin Lee Special thanks to Rodell Warner, Dave Williams, Richard Rawlins, Indra Ramcharan , Mariel Brown, Alice Yard , Terry Smith, Indigroove , Draconian Switch & CMB Advertising. Made in Trinidad and Tobago ARTZPUB FILMS ©2009