Skip to main content

B is for Mathematics


1.
a man sleeps till 10:30 pm
he wakes and dilly-dallys till 1:51 am before returning to sleep.
his alarm rings at 4: 00 am and his transport will pick him up at 5:09 am.

given that (on a good day) it takes him approx 45 minutes to get to work
how mad (in percentages) will he be if he doesn't get his coffee?

2.
Johnny likes three girls.
one early twenties, one mid twenties and one late twenties.
two of them have boyfriends, while the other wants to be just friends...(right)
given the fact that Johnny likes to analyse every-single-thing-in-the-bloomin'-airspace....
how many days before he gives up and listens to Bjork instead?



3.
in 1987, Barry watched two male muppets share a house.

in 1995, Barry watched two guys (He-Man and BOW) ride a colorful pony
with one of the characters in baby pink

if Barry was 12 in 1985, how long will it take him to realise he was gay?


4.
there are 1.2 million people in a country

1/3 are trade unionist

1/8 are budding criminals
1/4 are good citizens who choose to do nothing!

given the above figure, how many (percentages please) believe that Democracy is over-rated?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

B in Future Traditions

THE COPY: I was sitting down listening to Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” and I began to think about future traditions. I thought… I want to sway with someone. Sway with my lover. To this music. More than that, I want that when we had an argument (and we’d have those because she’d be stubborn and I’d be pig headed (iChuckle)) we would never go to bed angry. We’d pop open a lover’s CD like this one and just sway. We may be as mad as hell but we would sway because we would never want to go to bed angry. And our children would know this. And they would never allow their partners to go to bed angry either because… well, because they would know better. They would sway. They would know it was better to sway. That’s the kind of man I want to be. Moreover, that’s the kind of tradition I’d like to pass on. Future Traditions. What's Yours?

B is for The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses

So Facebook is mourning. Why? A child was snuffed out. How does modern man respond? By blacking out their profile picture. So Facebook is mourning. Why? Crime has reached intolerable levels for the people of a twin island republic. How does civilized, contemporary society respond? By copying and pasting stern status updates. WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS! SEND A STRONG MESSAGE! COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR STATUS IF YOU WANT A CHANGE! Not denying that social media has its power. After all, just yesterday I read of a man who – in honor of Facebook’s role in the Egyptian Revolution – named his first child, Facebook. We do not deny that Youtube and the Twitter was a beacon for Tehran, but do note, these social media enterprises merely acted as a catapult for an already serious war on injustice. My people however… are not that serious. Thus I have decided on a far more satisfying approach. Ladies and Wilderbeasts, I give you, The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses. An organization geared towards ...

B is for The Etch-A-Sketch

I’ve always thought of the Universe as a big, big mouth. And when you make a statement, it opens wide to receive it. It (the universe) rolls it in its mouth and then spews it back out in a more interesting form. Say for example, me. I said once, I want to try/experience everything at least once. And through a series of [un] fortunate events, I have experienced some real heights. I said… I want to do everything. this brought on a wonderful debate with a friend of mine who explained to me in all honesty that iCan’t do everything. Enter John Locke’s voice screaming to the world – “don’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” But he was right though. My dear friend, not John Locke. Maybe. I can’t do everything. Except I probably could. Of course when given the opportunity to try my hands and attempting the everything, I feel my tongue lean back into my oesaphagus, and slowly gallop tactlessly down my arse. Yes… I am aware of how that sounds. I’ve performed poetry at various locations. I’ve pub...