Skip to main content


Showing posts from August, 2010

B is for godhood defined

Read B is for godhood for a background to my little theory below.

Let’s start with a contradiction, since all if not most life seems to be comfortable in contradiction.
I am a Monotheist. Which basically means that I believe in a One God concept.
Yet anyone who has read my work, heard me speak or anything of the sort, would hear me use the phrase –“gods” especially in relation to a girl or series of girls who I deem to either be:
a). high above me (like Joan of arc or aaaaaphroditeeeeee)
b). or else, there’s a divine spark about them that they haven’t yet realized.
Such is the case of one of my friends now overseas. I believe she was sent away to become a god. Whether she knows this or not –well gyurl…. Now yuh do! Get up and become one already.

Now I don’t bandy about this term idly. Though in our culture, the phrase has become either
a). too generic and “universal” a term to mean much, or
b). something that a rapper uses to define their extravagant living arrangements and lifestyle.

I should …

B is for godhood

Here’s how it went down…

It was the night of my friend’s art exhibition. Opening night. Laughs, hugs, sales.
As the night wore on, my body began to tell me that in all honesty, the tiredness I was feeling for a while was real and I had to sit down. I did so, on shinning metal chairs under a spreading tree, where I was still able to have a pretty good view of the screen, which was playing the film I edited.

Yes, I am an editor as much as I am a writer. Insert thanks to a light called Ms. Mariel for showing me wondrous shortcut techniques that made my final cut life a whole lot funner. Yes funner.

A chair with the view of the screen.
Soon thereafter a boy came. He saw his friend and began to speak to him about things.
Me, living in a curious state, adopted the mentality of the natives and proceeded to maco in on the conversation. In my defense he was standing right over me somewhat, so there.

The more he spoke the more I realized he held brain cells. This may not seem fair to say. Nor…

B is for Comfort

Lately (past four weeks or so), I’ve found that I’m most comfortable on my knees.

Like, right beside my bed. On my knees with my upper body stretched out on the bed itself. Now getting on your knees is oft seen as the beginning process of a prayer and sometimes I’d have one but most times it’s just a sigh; a breathe of relief/release. Nothing to say really – words are meaningless and oft times redundant. Besides, God knows what I want to say before I say it. Truth be told though, sometimes it feels like everything said is a spoon beating against an empty glass so I prefer to just… kneel there.

I have this idea of one time just sleeping there – on my knees BESIDE my bed instead of ON my bed – we’ll see how that fares.

I find that kneeling by my bed with my head resting on the mattress is so comforting. I think that it sort of reminds me if that feeling I used to have a few years back when I would look at the sky and feel like “I don’t belong here. I should be up there…”

And like I s…

B is for Intimacy [Heaven]

Lay in bed with your God
The softest sound comes from the beating of your heart
No need
To speak
Words are repetitive and altogether pointless
Your God… knows
So in the stillness of the day...
In the cool of the evening
You lay
On your bed
With your God by your side

And you think…
Why can’t all days be like this one?
No coffee cup devotionals
No run, run bye, bye, halfway kiss
No rustle, rustle – hustle, hustle
Just peace
As the soft whirring of a fan blade harmonizes with your heart
It beats a praise that only your God hears

And you can hear His heart
Slowly yours and His sound like
As you lay in your bed with your God

And you think…
Why can’t all days be like this one?
Quickly ridding yourself of those people
To return to THIS PERSON
Quickly ridding yourself of those phone calls
To take HIS CALL

This God who decided to stay
The morning
The evening
The moon...
Upon your bed

No special occasion
Just a day to shut off the world in silent reflection
You. Your God. And the slightest whirring of a fan
Soon you’ll know…

B is for Devotional

getty images
national geographic [which was on getty images]
my account at sony stock footage
the above addresses - thx for the loan of your pictures. though loan.... ok.

my atheist friend who inspired this form of randomness like... two/three weeks ago. finally finished it sunday night. i got another project for a friend of mine that is of importance so that is also to tackle and finish....

damian. for the animated eyes. it was from a project we were working on ... didn't go anywhere really. why let good footage waste :-) - thx.

and it would be completely remiss of me to not add GOD whom this whole piece is about anyways.
i hope to understand you more. be less of me and more of a reflection of You on the Earth...

pax everyone

tracy j h