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Showing posts from September, 2009

B is for Any Change?

i wrote this last year - saved and © and such. pax. tracy j h

mister, you have any change?
no change.
small change. big change. a few sense more...
no change.

well how poor do you feel?
devoid of human kindness
d' void is filled with human blightness
generosity stands still
the smile has dried up
and i... don't want to be positive no more.

and i have no change
no extra love to spare
no hugs to give
no haves to hold
far less silver or gold
so no! i have nothing...
not a damn thing to give -
to no one!

mister, you have any change?
no? well how poor do you feel?!

tracy j h
© june 2008

B is for Womb

It's theory time again! come, gather round the blog let Brother New Sense hit you with a theory.
"the first deity you meet is not the one religion gives you but it is your mother."

deify me.. i am womb.
first home. first heaven
i provided...
u resided...
your longing for the sea was born in me.
you bowed your head, accepted my dominion
you understood who i was, your 'god', your religion
and now full grown u skip over my sisters
u forgot to protect your 'divine mother'
and have become like every
when you were first divinity

perhaps if i
were like
your other
super heroes
i too would be flooded with incense, and prayers, and love... and respect
so deify me. deify me. I AM WOMB
© 2009

B is for SHE and HER (part of the text project)

while we wait for a proper reception i invite you to a piece of static called "Between SHE and HER"

Between SHE and HER

Saturday night I got home after a night of poetry some time round 11:30 pm.
Ate something. Drank something. Took a bath. Went to sleep round 12:30 am.
Maybe closer to one.

And I thought, “how nice it would’ve been to crash by a friend nearby” instead of trying to fish for two sets of public transportation to take me home. My mind wandered. SHE was there at the wandering.

1 Somehow we would meet in Curepe (Curepe being the central point that connects me to home – which is at the south of the island - and the Poetry event which was at the North East of the island). SHE’d come home with me and I’d be fine.

2 The other more practical option was this – I would crash at her house for the night since she lives in the North East and not too far from the Poetry event. I reasoned that I had not an extra set of clothes with me and if I was to go back to church in a few …

B is for Knoc Knoc Joke

generally speaking.... i get the feeling my life is already a joke. BUT... that aside... here's a little knoc knoc joke for the weekend (and yes i'm aware there's no "k"). so... HERE'S A JOKE! (oh wait, that's just my reflection - "ching") and enjoy the weekend. pax - tracy j h

Knoc Knoc.
Who's there?
Saviour Who?

(get it "save - ya?"... "saviour?" no.... tough crowd)

B is for Girlz

on the Evangelion Soundtrack there's a song called "A Moment When Tension Breaks". below is called "A Moment When Sanity Ends". rough randomness as told by me. let us begin.

Bite sized vengeance. Nibble it slowly. It’s not going anywhere so nibble… it… slowly.

A good woman can ascertain how deep a man's bullshit goes and - without fear- sticks her hand in and pulls him out of it. Later, they wash each other clean of it.

Her skin is smooth not so her mind. I want to kiss it though. Kiss them both. I want to take off her clothes. Remove the pretension. RIP IT ALL OUT. Kiss every scar. Kiss every smooth surface.

I like how the light slaps her this morning. It holds her. Wraps her in an unshakeable hold. I like that. I like that she can’t escape. I can see her mind – the one she keeps hidden behind red hot silky… vengeance. Such a silly veneer. I want to run my fingers so badly across that rugged landscape. I want to trace the ancestry of her tears, find th…

B is for Voyeur (part of the Text Project)

This Text Project of mine has taken on a new dimension. Voyeurism!

last week when i started this little exercise i received this text message:
"so y u switch off on me" - Sept 5, 2009 [09:36:29 am]
the number was from an unknown source...

today i got this text message:
"Mornin 2 d most beautiful n wonderful woman i kno njoy ur day n b safe i miss n love u very much"
Sept 15, 2009 [06:50:37 am]

and i was like awwwwww! too tweet. some guy/girl actually took the time to tell their woman they think the world of them and i was all emotional and in awe of humanity. [yeah right]
i decided i did not have the guts to call the guy/girl and say "dude, u just poured out ur heart to a wrong number!"

and then it hit me! i'm keeping these messages because i have a feeling that thesemessages will continue and i want to document them [rubbing chin maniacally]. something's a foot and it is voyeurism!

Here's where it all started

Here's where the first report was publis…

B is for Shadows (of Violence)

Shadows of violence sit in the chair
What is your line of defense?
A light switch?
It has evolved.
Shadows of violence fear no light no more
Cause it evolve
Just to reach to this moment
The moment where it sits there in that chair
Waiting for your ass
So again
What is your line of defense?
Hurry, make a light switch.
Grab a crucifix instead before yuh dead
And fight the shadows in darkness
Make their element your own
Cause they eh expecting you to do that.
They didn’t know you evolve too...

Cause you name cat – night is day to you
So run the shadows through
Then clean the chair
And sit your ass there!

The end.

B is Alive

“Are you alive?” – the Cylon agent asked the human
“Yes.” The man muttered
“Prove it.” – she said then proceeded to kiss him
(before the whole space station blew up to well… kingdom come)
BattleStar Galactica reference

Now to our story.

I’m sitting in the bus heading home and suddenly (and without warning –
I just love saying that) I am struck with a new thought. ALIVE.

The word “Alive” means (According to MacBook) living, not dead, continuing in existence, alert and active; animated – these are good things yes?

However, if you break down the word into two parts – “a” and “live” suddenly (and with-… you get the idea) you get this wondrous concept. Or wacky depending on how u see it.

The letter “A” in Greek means NOT. So for example if things seem unorthodox, seem to not be going typical it’s considered atypical or NOT TYPICAL! If you do not believe in any god doctrine (being Theist) then you are considered atheistor NOT THEIST!
“A” is a powerful word.

Now let’s look at “live”. The word “live” (A…

B is for Question

i have a question. answer if you will. or not. such is the nature of the question.
whatever that means.


whataboutyours? howdoyoudealwithyours?


B is for First Weekend

Re: The Text Project (that's...what i called it)

resolve is a glorious thing.
of course the lack of it is also a glorious thing too.

i decided to NOT send any unnecessary texts
to NOT call anyone more than i have to. truly.
of course having said that, SUDDENLY i remembered that i had a world of things to tell people!
i must call so-and-so about this
i must text so-and-so because THIS IS JUST TOO GREAT!
i must. i must. i must.but i didn't.

not even when a strange number appeared on saturday saying "so y u switch off on me"
not even when one of my dear friends sent me a text complementing one of my pieces.

it's funny though . it's like saying "i'm going on a diet" and suddenly you realise "dam, i need chocolates." or saying "i'm going on a fast" and suddenly [and without warning] you...crave food.

i realised that all the things that I MUST say, that I MUST share... could wait.
could wait till monday (at the office)
could wait till i lo…

B is for Texts

or textes as Sade says....

i want to see how long i can go without sending a text or calling anyone outside of my mother (Buddha - yes i call her Buddha - cause she is wise) who always sends me messages. the point of this exercise is simple. most times than not i'm the one initiating the conversation between friends. what would happen if i saved my texts (and my money) and called/texted (texted? really?) no one?

i don't know what exactly is the point of the exercise. or rather, i don't fully know the point of it.
maybe it's cleansing (jeez i sound like "those" artistes). maybe i'll write an article about it or a story
i don't know... but here i am... determined to NOT send any texts. make any calls. do nothing of the sort. and i've already started.

my test subject was my... i would say ex but we never really had a title. i stopped calling, and i'm limiting the texts. of course i wasn't taking her calls either but that's a combination of si…

B is for Scribblings (on phone)

another phone entry....

the pedantic cow stares listlessly at the succulent greens littered with jewels, (broken glass liquified by the morning's breath) and decides to chew a cud's worth of stubbornness till it becomes milk for the mother and meat for the wolves.

end with an odd number and everyone meets in the middle.
end with an even number and people take sides.

© tracy j h 2009

B is for Phone (rough)

not really one or the other. actually written on phone as with most of my work [ad wise or not] then transferred to paper.

i shouldn't have taken that call...

do you remember that sunday?
the one when we were young and all we craved were each other?
when we thought we were gods?
i don't no about you but i wanted to have heroes with you.
a whole pantheon
pre.... conceived... ideas wrapped in a kiss
held together by two arms that loved you.
you remember that sunday?
cause... i do.
and i think to myself, i should not have answered that phone.

months go by.
conversations become constricted.
tit plays on tat and i could see us becoming....
i fought against it
i hoped against it
but every time we finished this crackle
i think to myself, i should not have answered the phone.

hello? (voice triggers memory betraying resolve)
i... put all this aside.
i think... "one day we could get back to the god hood"
but the past seemed too heavy for us.

i should change my number
to 5 or 7 or 3

i hear a r…

B is for god-ishness (first session)

Prelude:for some reason, the internet here [where i am] is mucking around. thus no audio commentaries for a while. still, i can write. and i will continue to record. when the situation is fixed, there will be... more. in the mean time, enjoy a something from my 'Lord-send-me-a-goddess' phase. pax

oh to lie on the belly of ah god
and listen as the world turns inside her
so many issues,
to read through
so many stories,
to climb
till you get there -
to this and that point
where all you can do is lay your head on the belly
of this woman
this good-thing
this god-ish thing
this supreme imperfection
and listen to wisdom churn away
mid way - mid section - mid session
between the lips of judgment
and the feet that embrace... dancing
oh! i wish i was there
to cast my cares on the belly
of this pseudo god-thing
this supreme imperfection
who intuitively knows what i know long before i knew what i knew
oh to lie down on the belly of ah god
and sleep... even as the world turns inside her.

tracy j h

B is for Obeah and Science

through a sequence of conversations on sunday, my mother and i ended up on obeah. now for those of you who don't know obeah is ... well ... think of it as pan african witchcraft. potent crap. anyways, i started to think of all the ingredients and rituals, people use to practice their dark ways and the most horrid thing started to happen. i began to break it down... with science.

with science you say?
but first, some ingredients/rituals...

1. bush bath(a bush bath is either when somebody gets special bushes whacked all over them or a bunch of bushes you ingest to get rid of the evil eye. for the sake of this exercise i choose the more violent option) lavendersolution
1.x amount ofsalt(the exact amount is... unknown)
1. x amount oflemon
1. dose of pee

note - this is not the actual mix for a spell or anything, but rather a few items attributed with the workings of obeah. and now for the science of it.

1. bush bath- this treatment shocks the pores open.
1. red lavender solution- lave…