Friday, August 20, 2010

B is for Comfort

Lately (past four weeks or so), I’ve found that I’m most comfortable on my knees.

Like, right beside my bed. On my knees with my upper body stretched out on the bed itself. Now getting on your knees is oft seen as the beginning process of a prayer and sometimes I’d have one but most times it’s just a sigh; a breathe of relief/release. Nothing to say really – words are meaningless and oft times redundant. Besides, God knows what I want to say before I say it. Truth be told though, sometimes it feels like everything said is a spoon beating against an empty glass so I prefer to just… kneel there.

I have this idea of one time just sleeping there – on my knees BESIDE my bed instead of ON my bed – we’ll see how that fares.

I find that kneeling by my bed with my head resting on the mattress is so comforting. I think that it sort of reminds me if that feeling I used to have a few years back when I would look at the sky and feel like “I don’t belong here. I should be up there…”

And like I said, it’s not just a pray thing although (Al Though – God in spite of…?) I may yet end up saying a word or two. I just… like being there. It’s restful. It… nullifies my evil thoughts… most day. When I think of telling people HOW MUCH of a troglodyte they really are; when I want to exact violence upon the whole earth…. I walk into my room and just pop down. iChuckle.

Hey some people collect stamps. If I’m not writing or editing or washing wares (I find that lil therapeutic too eh just not… pots…often.) could just release on my knees.

There. The End

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