Monday, October 18, 2010

B is for Comfort = Fear

Last night (Sunday) while taking a shower, I began to engage my imaginary audience (they’re quite the captive brood) with my personal theories including the concept of born gay (nature) as opposed to becoming gay (nurture). NatGeo was showing their “in the womb” specials again. The ones where I’m reminded that we share a great deal of our genes with fruit flies, chimpanzees and daisies (or was that daffodils?) As a theorist, I tend to believe that maybe people are born with these traits as much as everything else. Spiritual people will not agree because they believe gay is a foul spirit roaming the earth trying to destroy God’s plan. Or else, they may tell you of Generational Curses – things that pass down from one family member to another. For example: if granddad died at 50 and dad died at 51 it’s possible the child may die around the same age bracket. Science will tell you that this is because a history of heart disease is prevalent in that family among other things and that’s why the men die off so early; a spiritual person may tell you that that is also a generational curse that needs to be broken. Now I’m not saying this to bash spiritual (religious) people, here’s the thing – I am a spiritual person (nor do I want to act blind to evil) but I firmly believe that science is closer to us than we realize and I want to prove it. I want to show things inherited in the genes and what we call generational curses may (to some extent) be aligned. I have firm faith that one day science and spirit will be resolved (I also have firm faith that my dear friend “Tolkein”’s eye brow has gone up again – him being a firm scientist).

Funny. We’re quite willing to accept the fact that the child’s stubbornness, her propensity for staring into space or his leaning towards art is inherited, passed down from ancestor to descendant… but only in so far as what we’re willing to live with.

As I postulated my idea, someone in my imaginary audience of theists asked me point blank, “So you believe people are born gay?” I didn’t answer right away. Instead I formulated a response based on the sucking of fingers.

In the womb, some babies are seen sucking their thumb or another digit. When the child is born, this habit continues. It is a sign of comfort. We may even hear that the parents used to suck their thumb/finger when they were younger too. It is only as they grew older were they (oft times) forced to stop this habit usually by some daft adult means. Wrap the finger in a sock, put some goo on it, ridicule or even slap the child’s hand away every time they suck it. Thus, in the back of the child’s mind, there is that understanding that comfort = fear. If I put my finger in my mouth (personal comfort), then someone will come and slap it away (fear). Therefore I must not put my thumb/finger in my mouth. The association between fear and comfort has been realized. So then, the child is still born with certain traits/quirks/tendencies/habits but it is the outside forces that can at times (selfishly) course correct (is that correct?). Boys who are sensitive are trained to not be so. Girls who are “tomboy-ish” are explained that this is unacceptable.

And that’s when it hit me what I was saying. Comfort = Fear. The thumb-sucker’s quirk is an annoyance to the viewer and so the viewer selfishly instills the fear of Fear into them. The child grows up knowing this action is (considered) wrong and out of fear of reprisal – relearns how to NOT suck its thumb. An action, that was going on from the womb and may have actually come from some relative as all traits (or most) do.

What other connections are formed in that individual? If comfort = fear, then everything that brings me personal peace MUST be wrong as well, therefore I should not do it for that is wrong (or for fear of reprisal).

I wonder, how many career choices (that’s quite a jump but humor me here) are based on the same principle. You love X. X brings you comfort (personal peace). But X is not deemed viable. Fear takes over. Explains to you that actions lead to reprisals and one should not follow that course of action. You yield. You yield because the bridge that was set up many years ago is now firm. The innate tendencies you were born with, that may have come from a relative worlds before is now stifled because at the end of the day….

Comfort = Fear.

I don’t know yet if vice equals versa in this round and I’m not sure what my audience has to say about it, but my mind is now attuned to a new line of thought in the grand scheme of things.

End of Line

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