Skip to main content

B is for Multiples

I die a thousand times a day. not from cowardice but rather, projection. I think if the concept of an alternate reality or rather multiple realities exist, then I am in fact a dead man; I have fallen off cliffs and veered off stairs; elevators have crashed with me in it; I beat up villains and die; I died of colds and viruses; the pain in my head mutated; etcetera. My personal “favorite” is this recurring thought of having a blackbird fly right into my temple lobe. Herby making my distrust of these birds even more pronounced.

My latest death happened while I was en route to the office. The taxi I was in was situated behind a prison van. A little girl needed to cross the road and maneuvered her way between my retard of a taxi-driver and said prison van. Almost instantly the following scene played out: the van [which obviously wasn’t closed properly] burst open, criminals escape, threaten to hold the little child hostage, I jump out of my taxi and convince them to take me instead. I do not remember what happened next but the feeling of pain and emptiness I felt tells me that I died.

Not cool.

Projection. It’s why I get angry at hypothetical arguments, it is why I see myself destroying people with coins [don’t ask how], it is why…. A lot of things.
Bottom-line is, multiple Tracy is in a pretty wrecked state because of the actions [is thought an action?] of Tracy Prime.

I feel each one. I feel each death, each argument, each consequence. I know their lies and their lives. HOLD THE PHONE! It’s really not as scary as it sounds. I’m a writer – I’m prone to be melodramatic. But seriously folks, I’m trying to align my thoughts right especially in these days where if I (Tracy Prime) really give in to the default setting (villain) then what hope to the rest of me have? I need to go back the days of priesthood. But I suspect that even then, it was left of weird.

Actually IT WAS! iChuckle.

I wonder if there’s a blur between worlds?
If the feelings I feel come from Other Me (suddenly I laugh – if you saw Scott Pilgrim and you remember “Other Scott” you’d know why) then they need help. And to leave me the heck alone.

What’s the point here? None. At least…. None here. But somewhere I have figure out the solution and am living my most optimum life. Somewhere… like next week.

Pax
Tracy j Hutchings

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

B in Future Traditions

THE COPY: I was sitting down listening to Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” and I began to think about future traditions. I thought… I want to sway with someone. Sway with my lover. To this music. More than that, I want that when we had an argument (and we’d have those because she’d be stubborn and I’d be pig headed (iChuckle)) we would never go to bed angry. We’d pop open a lover’s CD like this one and just sway. We may be as mad as hell but we would sway because we would never want to go to bed angry. And our children would know this. And they would never allow their partners to go to bed angry either because… well, because they would know better. They would sway. They would know it was better to sway. That’s the kind of man I want to be. Moreover, that’s the kind of tradition I’d like to pass on. Future Traditions. What's Yours?
4 comments
Read more

B is for SideBar

i was going to talk about morality today. as in "whose morality do you subscribe to?" it was going to be deep if i say so myself. however, instead i will speak about requisitioning wombs . yes that's right... wombs . i was having a conversation with a girl who [i admit] i still go gaga over [cue the "paparazzi" audio clip]. we were talking about how stupid humanity had become and whether there was a point to saving them. "saving" in the sense of helping-them-expand-their-mental-space-just-a-smidgen-more kind of saving. she believed this exercise was futile and proclaimed that instead of trying to save this "dead-out" (my term not hers) generation, she was going to have kids. a means of passing on valuable information about culture and forward thinking and such. i laughed of course but she had a real point. i too have felt that this current landscape is all... dead-out, but never really saw procreation as a means of rebooting the system if...
5 comments
Read more

B is for Disavowed [part of the lord series]

I remember when I disavowed (human) Troubling thing since of course I was (human) Thought of my mistakes and yes they were (human) Thought of my limits and without a doubt (human) … … I remembered when I disavowed (can’t) Wanted to draw but of course, well I (can’t) Thought about rapping but you know that I (can’t) Should’ve taken her to the room… (can’t) … … I remembered when I realized it was the same (Human) and (can’t), they were all in a frame One is an excuse The other keeps you tame Same song, same hymn, same refrain. .... ... ... I can’t be human. But can’t doesn’t exist. Which means I COULD be human  But why be… everyone? You can be “only human” if you want to But I’ll accept terrestrial or mortal – thank you. Until the word is reclaimed by those who claim to be more Yet flounder in the gene pool of mice. © tracy j hutchings 18:06:13 #lordoftheyounggods a lord must consecrate and dis...
4 comments
Read more