Thursday, January 27, 2011

B is For Defy

I’ll try to keep this to a paragraph…

I was born with a big head. Thus I am brilliant. My adenoids were bigger than a new born’s. I’ve had asthma for as long as I can remember. When I was fourteen I almost died because of it. When I get sick, I get fever crossing the 100/102 Degree mark. Once, my mother’s doctor said if I continue to get high fevers like those I could go deaf in one ear. Fun. Did I mention the hallucinations I used to get when the fever went too high? I’ve had painful ear infections. I have scoliosis. I was told [more or less]: operate or die. We operated. Twice. In the space of two months. Because my body being stubborn as it is, decided that it needed to dislodge/reject certain parts of the process. Right now I’m experiencing my second [known] chest/lung infection. I am a Mucinex ad. MY DOCTOR tells me that because of said scoliosis one lung is healthier than the next – crap will continue to happen unless I take up swimming. No biggie – I planned to anyways. My left foot at times takes a few moments to uncurl and it can get scary. Add the usual mental randomness associated with twenties and voila… whatever. Every time I get a sharp pain in my head I get worried and occasionally [more than actually] my eyes hurt so yay, glasses to buy. The good thing is, all my sick vibes has not affected my mouth or my mind. So Bravo, God! I am still an ass. This is my body. Now I can curl up in a ball and die or I can curl my fist and defy. I choose to defy all that is within me, all that is within my family even if it brings me to tears sometimes, I have to get up. Why? Well it could be because I am a God son (homo-celestiai © tracy j h 2k11) or it could be because life is too boring sitting in bed. I will not deny that at times one’s body NEEDS a breather, a moment to recap/regroup (and I am taking it in right now – pills et al) but you have to defy what you know, defy what you are if you are EVER to succeed on this planet. Look at me, I’m blogging, I’m thinking of ads to write, I’m walking in the sun instead of having someone get things for me. In fact, when I am ill, THAT IS THE TIME more than others that I need to get up and do things. My dear friend said it best and it is perpetually stuck in my mind – “You are better than your life.” Or as I told my sick body earlier this week – “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the Juggernaut bitch!” Defy.

I said a paragraph. I didn’t say how long J Pax.

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