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B is for Ill Will Happen

A few hours ago (Tuesday 25th January) I shared a glorious revelation (or revile-ation) with my mom and a few friends. It went something like this – “the universe… keeps thinking of ways to screw with my money.” I’m serious.

I had some extra change. Small, but just enough to put something down on a bill or two and start clearing off the smaller bills (two in particular).

As a side note – when the Trinidad & Tobago Mortgage Finance Company Ltd tells you “three to four work days” what they really mean is – “prepare to wait and duck your creditors while we feed you with false promises and hopes, quite like your father.” But I digress. Well… not really… but anyways.

So I have some small change left. I’m feeling pretty good (to some degree) with this. I managed to make a budget. I’ve taken out the money I need to pay X and Y and a couple of ZZZ; I could still get me a jeans or two (WESTPORT HAS A SALE ON RIGHT… NOW!) and have money left over. Praises Be!

Oh but what’s this. My throat is hurting again. It is sore and hurting again. My eyes hurt too and so do my ears. And the fever is so intense, my mother (Who panics every time I get sick – one reason is that I get fevers in the over 100 degrees bracket and start to hallucinate some) has to keep my forehead hydrated while my feet sweats cold. And then there’s the mucus. Every five to ten minutes I’m rushing to the sink - BEWARE IT GETS GROSS HERE – it is the most disgusting green I have ever seen! Jeez, this crap grows inside us? Now and then it’s a little clearer – HERE ENDS GROSSNESS. Now since I’ve had this process last yr, I can in fact hypothesize that it IS another viral/chest infection at work. (asthma, ear infections, spinal surgery random pains and infections. Clearly my life is a testimony)

Hooray! My doctor gets to see me; gets to extract money from me – the very little I have saved/hidden. Moreover, I get more yummy steroids and pills (I hate taking pills) and expectorants all so that I can return to my career where clients squabble over the placement of a logo or perhaps more up my alley, “I want the ad to sound more punchy and force full” but… you’re not that kind of brand. Sigh.

In my attempts to keep Buddha calm (that’s my mom’s nickname for those who don’t know), I try to explain that sickness is a natural part of the human existence.

Two fundamental flaws there:
1. I am a fundamentally a Theist. We believe in the presence of miracles and such like. So… sickness really ISN’T a natural part of existence and

2. Sickness would imply I… am HUMAN. And that logic makes me sad for various (illogical) reasons.

Still, the moral of this story here is that…
I lost it. I lost the moral.
Wait. I think I have it. Yes. The moral is – NOTHING [IN LIFE] IS SET IN STONE.
Sigh. A shocker. Well it’s off to my goodly doctor who will inform me of what I’ve already hypothesized and with a flick of his wrist, assign me a prescription only the legion of extraordinary pharmacists will understand.

[strains of My money ha, ha… plays in my head]
Tracy j h


  1. Sending you a universe hug and we'll make that a real one soon.

    Feel better. I too, though drifting, am a theist a heart -- an undefined one -- and I send you thoughts, prayers and good vibes. I believe in amazing things. Believing with you...whatever comes.


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