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B is for WTFiction

Child: Mommy, where do ideas come from?

Mother: Oh honey, no one knows for certain where ideas come from. But one thing we do know for certain is that once you get an idea, i mean a really REALLY GOOD idea, you is to crush it before it see the light of day. Yes, crush it. Because the minute you get a good idea every muddah arse go want to claim it as if they had any input in d damn ting. Dong to d blasted fruit vendor who sell yuh dem bananas. Watch how he go stan' up and say "yuh see. if i didn't sell she dem bananas, she wouldn't ah ha' d potassium in she brain to have any ideas". Yes. is to stamp on dem ideas like is a mud mas. cause you eh go believe d amount ah so-and-so friends yuh go lose, cause kill dem dead you was supposes to share d profits of d idea IF d idea profitable. and leh we doh go dong d road about dem people who always "find" yuh coulda "do dat so" and "fix dat so" because d so-and-so idea did come to dem ass when dem was on d toilet ent? Yeah. All dat. [clears throat] Excuse me. But yes my darling... no one really knows.

Child: Oh.

[and i... just cracked up as the thought worked into my mind]


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