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B is for Love Notes

When I was nineteen I came upon a girl who was wonderful.
Her girlfriend thought she was wonderful too.

One time I liked a girl.
My friend also liked the girl.
He had a car.

There are girls who know me as a mad man.
There are girls who know me as a philosopher type.
There are girls who know me as both and these are committed to staying mere friends with me.
Primarily because they are committed to their boyfriends/spouses/cats.

One of my sisters Leizelle has what I define as a groovy and wonderful marriage.
I lauded her and Christopher on what I deemed a groovy union.
She explained to me, “All we did is marry our best friends :D ”
I realized that was the best answer I had ever heard!
It was so obvious.
It was like trying to open a metal door with your shoulder, then suddenly someone comes and says “have you tried tuning the knob?” Doh!

Of course as I sat down to it,
I realized that I can’t marry my best friend
Sure he looks like a girl but it’s just… it’s just not the same, you know?
Doomed. Doomed I tell you.

One time I had an adult relationship
I know it was an adult relationship because it sucked
I’m not toting, I just have an eye for the past

A ray of sunshine has fallen on me
I’ve discovered that I have… “feelings” for a friend of mine
I shall now take my time and develop a meaningful friendship with her
And invariably…. Enter the friend zone.

Today (Wednesday) I looked at my gourmet granola – complete with sultanas and apple bits.
I thought, “Girls over Grease”.
The motivation for staying healthy is in fact, external.
But this morning proved to be retarded.
And in the end, Grease won.
But to be fair… I had a Snapple

I believe love is like Helvetica.
Which is why i use Times New Roman and Comic Sans.

It’s Wednesday. Indeed.



  1. this one... is the masterpiece.
    i want this framed and hung in my palace.


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