It is quite possible that I am caused to fall in love for the sole purpose of praying for people. This is not to say that I do not pray for people. Or that the people I do pray for, I am romantically entangled with. No, this is to say that when I am in love, whenever that feeling sweeps over me, I pray with a belief. A belief that says all that concerns them (the interest) will be well/at peace… reach perfection even.
I remember in junior high or FIVE RIVERS JUNIOR SEC as it was then called, I had fallen for a girl called Diana. Given my present understanding of “goddesses” I chuckle so hard. She is still a… good friend of mine. But I remember in my state of euphoria over her, that I commanded – yes commanded the star that lay in the general location of her house to watch over her. * I suspect I did the same to/with God as well. There is a Biblical saying about approaching “boldly before the throne of grace”. Now I never worshipped the goddess grace but Jehovah, well yes, Him I did worship. And so I would (in said euphoria) pray for illogical things like for stars to watch over my interests, or for family structures to be healed and bodies to be fixed and lives to make sense. And I believed to a great degree that these things would happen.
Logically, I could say my belief was based on an empathetic response. But human logic and spirituality rarely seem to align themselves aright.
It’s funny. I have friends whom I love. A choice few have immigrated to the realm of family. I love these as if they were my own soul, which may or may not be accurate as I cannot be sure HOW I’m treating my own soul, but I DO KNOW I want their lives to be whole. As… my own soul is whole. Clearly. That’s why I cry buckets whenever I watch Battlestar Galactica, because my soul is whole. But… I digress. In any event, this is different.
This falling in love thing tends to expand my prayer list because you cannot merely pray for them alone. You must pray for siblings, conflict resolution, health, wealth, intellectual fortitude, laughter and tidings of comfort and joy. And to be fair this is not written down as A MUST [I mean not in this list form that I have invariably created in my mindscape]. But if you love [like/have feelings for] someone, all that you want for yourself you want for them – even if the end game results with them NOT being yours forever.
Spirituality must be amusing I suspect. The very definition of prayer may be a self-delusion depending on whom you ask. And here I am, back to this feeling again, adding a new name to the list of groovy people I want to see succeed… as my very soul strives to succeed. In Trini parlance…. Allyuh pray for meh eh.
*Of course in typical me style, when the game was over (re: High School), I took back my star. The prayers already went out in the universe – there’s no return policy for that.