Skip to main content

B is for Music

Freemasons admit: Soca too stupid to infiltrate
A B IS FOR STEALING EXCLUSIVE

I went into the dvd club looking for something to satisfy my weekend urges and walked out with IRON MAN 2 and Eat Pray Love. But before leaving, my all seeing eye glanced upon a dvd speaking about a certain hip hop mogul who is actually a mason. It is hilarious to me that all at once every black artiste IS IN FACT a freemason but I suspect turn about is fair play. After all, every one knows that white people music has been the product of the devil for years. But the more I thought about it, the more a true and undeniable fact became clearer and clearer to my consciousness…. I have not now nor have I ever heard about ANY freemason soca stars. This stark and blatant bias by the powers-that-be-hidden is an insult to the Trinidadian Collective who no doubt can be an asset to any organisation or government ment ment ment with the right amount of clout. We have agendas too you know. To get to the heart of this bias, I called up Frank Amadeus [not actual name], a prominent mason to explain the bastardry behind the masonry.

F.A: “ah driving.”
BIFS: “yes that’s all well and good, but hear nah, how come there are no freemasons in soca?”
F.A: “hoss, soca just too stupid to try and infiltrate. laters”
Click

And there you have it. I am outraged, Frank. I’ll have you know that the pulsating beats of the same theme played for ten years is EXACTLY what the masons need in the Caribbean.

Ringing back
F.A: eh?
BIFS: “But we could be dark. Just go to pop rock and you’ll see how dark this music
industry really is.”
F.A.: “It’s not about light or dark”
BIFS: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
F.A: “exactly”
Click

Today for you Frank Amadeus. Tomorrow for we cultcha!


* i don't know any masons. please don't hurt me*

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

B in Future Traditions

THE COPY: I was sitting down listening to Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” and I began to think about future traditions. I thought… I want to sway with someone. Sway with my lover. To this music. More than that, I want that when we had an argument (and we’d have those because she’d be stubborn and I’d be pig headed (iChuckle)) we would never go to bed angry. We’d pop open a lover’s CD like this one and just sway. We may be as mad as hell but we would sway because we would never want to go to bed angry. And our children would know this. And they would never allow their partners to go to bed angry either because… well, because they would know better. They would sway. They would know it was better to sway. That’s the kind of man I want to be. Moreover, that’s the kind of tradition I’d like to pass on. Future Traditions. What's Yours?

B is for The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses

So Facebook is mourning. Why? A child was snuffed out. How does modern man respond? By blacking out their profile picture. So Facebook is mourning. Why? Crime has reached intolerable levels for the people of a twin island republic. How does civilized, contemporary society respond? By copying and pasting stern status updates. WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS! SEND A STRONG MESSAGE! COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR STATUS IF YOU WANT A CHANGE! Not denying that social media has its power. After all, just yesterday I read of a man who – in honor of Facebook’s role in the Egyptian Revolution – named his first child, Facebook. We do not deny that Youtube and the Twitter was a beacon for Tehran, but do note, these social media enterprises merely acted as a catapult for an already serious war on injustice. My people however… are not that serious. Thus I have decided on a far more satisfying approach. Ladies and Wilderbeasts, I give you, The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses. An organization geared towards ...

B is for The Etch-A-Sketch

I’ve always thought of the Universe as a big, big mouth. And when you make a statement, it opens wide to receive it. It (the universe) rolls it in its mouth and then spews it back out in a more interesting form. Say for example, me. I said once, I want to try/experience everything at least once. And through a series of [un] fortunate events, I have experienced some real heights. I said… I want to do everything. this brought on a wonderful debate with a friend of mine who explained to me in all honesty that iCan’t do everything. Enter John Locke’s voice screaming to the world – “don’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” But he was right though. My dear friend, not John Locke. Maybe. I can’t do everything. Except I probably could. Of course when given the opportunity to try my hands and attempting the everything, I feel my tongue lean back into my oesaphagus, and slowly gallop tactlessly down my arse. Yes… I am aware of how that sounds. I’ve performed poetry at various locations. I’ve pub...