Friday, November 4, 2011

B is for Agreeable

When did this happen? When did i give up being a bad ass to become... agreeable? When did it happen? At what point did i think that it was alright to circumvent my authority in favor of a truce? I used to be powerful. I was told of a Kindergarten Don who, upon walking in, children older than him would run and take his bag and his coat. And if they acted stupid... he pummeled them. Now he nods and smiles at their collective assery [not actual word]. When did this happen? I was told of a boy who sat down and explained to his grandmother why her behavior was unbecoming; who spoke to his uncle in clear uninhibited tones. Now when he speaks, he feels like two words are not formed together in unison. Brain moves faster than mouth he says. In reality there are two logics at work: a). he thinks, "what's the point? these fools are loud and think they know. they wouldn't hear anyways." or b). "there is a soul in there, let's figure out what they're REALLY trying to say." But really, i think he is just afraid of BEING and in doing so, he gave his power away willingly. on a platter. before hungry dogs. When did this happen? At what point did i become agreeable? The quest to please stopped pleasing me a loooooong time back so now i'm on this hidden warpath. Charging up to the ill natured, ill mannered or just plain ill and saying "YOU ARE NO LONGER THE VOICE OF LOGIC!" I want to break them down into tiny little pieces, because the stain of my agreeability [not actual word] is all over my shirt. and it's my favorite one! this was never about turning the other cheek, this was quenching the right to speak. and now that you find out 'wait a minute, i'm sinking here.", do you speak out? ... ... do you speak out and drown [with the knowledge that they know now]?; do you speak out in hopes that they get a clue [and send a branch to you]?... ... do you take a final look and laugh at their ignorance. one day, you say, one day it will catch on how utterly normal their behavior has been. but what about yours?

when did it happen? at what point? what was the EXACT DAY when i gave this power away to be merely agreeable? ... ... ... .

pax

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