Skip to main content

B is For Confessions (of a Dickhead)

As the car sped violently down the highway, it hit him that he had lived in the land of the celibate for so long, he had forgotten that his penis had, well, a voice. And apparently opinions. This carnal revival left much to be desired. For while knowledge is considerable power, what actions lay waiting for him to take?



The truth lay in his hands. And with that truth, the responsibility to make penis feel like part of the family again.



Head Heart Feet and Soul. These no longer were the only instruments of light and right but so was he… or it. Yes, he was male, surely it must be too. It’s… His opinions on the matter assured this. No longer did the devil lay hidden in his pants to be crushed under foot (the very idea sent the now thoughtful master into shivers) but he… it… he had as much truth to say as the rest of the saints. “Saint”, a snicker rose from the master as the highway winds leapt up his face, patting him ever so gently on the head. A saint. Yes, Saint Phallus of The L’groin Territories. He quickly regained composure. No need for everyone to think him mad at the point of his revelations.



But still…

But. Still…

Maybe it was the realization that Phallus was not living up to some misguided hedonist potential… whatever. The end result was the same. He should’ve asked her to stay. He truly should have said, “stay”


Confessions of a Dickhead

An UNKNOWN story
© Tracy J H
Jan 06:2012

Comments

  1. i want to CRY with laughter. this is amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes. daddy will be putting all these 'unknown stories' together.

      spread. spread. an ting.

      pax
      tracy j h

      Delete
  2. Penis. Finally freed of the looming zippers and elastic. Well done!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

B in Future Traditions

THE COPY: I was sitting down listening to Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” and I began to think about future traditions. I thought… I want to sway with someone. Sway with my lover. To this music. More than that, I want that when we had an argument (and we’d have those because she’d be stubborn and I’d be pig headed (iChuckle)) we would never go to bed angry. We’d pop open a lover’s CD like this one and just sway. We may be as mad as hell but we would sway because we would never want to go to bed angry. And our children would know this. And they would never allow their partners to go to bed angry either because… well, because they would know better. They would sway. They would know it was better to sway. That’s the kind of man I want to be. Moreover, that’s the kind of tradition I’d like to pass on. Future Traditions. What's Yours?

B is for SideBar

i was going to talk about morality today. as in "whose morality do you subscribe to?" it was going to be deep if i say so myself. however, instead i will speak about requisitioning wombs . yes that's right... wombs . i was having a conversation with a girl who [i admit] i still go gaga over [cue the "paparazzi" audio clip]. we were talking about how stupid humanity had become and whether there was a point to saving them. "saving" in the sense of helping-them-expand-their-mental-space-just-a-smidgen-more kind of saving. she believed this exercise was futile and proclaimed that instead of trying to save this "dead-out" (my term not hers) generation, she was going to have kids. a means of passing on valuable information about culture and forward thinking and such. i laughed of course but she had a real point. i too have felt that this current landscape is all... dead-out, but never really saw procreation as a means of rebooting the system if...

B is for Disavowed [part of the lord series]

I remember when I disavowed (human) Troubling thing since of course I was (human) Thought of my mistakes and yes they were (human) Thought of my limits and without a doubt (human) … … I remembered when I disavowed (can’t) Wanted to draw but of course, well I (can’t) Thought about rapping but you know that I (can’t) Should’ve taken her to the room… (can’t) … … I remembered when I realized it was the same (Human) and (can’t), they were all in a frame One is an excuse The other keeps you tame Same song, same hymn, same refrain. .... ... ... I can’t be human. But can’t doesn’t exist. Which means I COULD be human  But why be… everyone? You can be “only human” if you want to But I’ll accept terrestrial or mortal – thank you. Until the word is reclaimed by those who claim to be more Yet flounder in the gene pool of mice. © tracy j hutchings 18:06:13 #lordoftheyounggods a lord must consecrate and dis...