B is for the Mother-Neck Bird Saves Christmas

*Dear Friends... there IS an audio recording of this. it's rough but it is all yours for the listening pleasure. message me and the mp3 will be yours [most of you know how to reach me anyways]

The mother-neck bird flies high and higher

From its incessant song, it does not retire

Which would be fine on any other day

But it’s Christmas, and I want to spend it my own way!

With glad tidings told to my bed

And not a chip, chip CHIRP… all around my head.

"Listen mother-neck bird" – I said

"If you do not stop this singing, yuh go surely dead!"

Alas the bird was hard of hearing

And while I should be more caring

The fact remains, it’s an unholy hour

So you keep chirping, I’ll make plans to devour

Perhaps the fault lay with me,

If I hadn’t drunk so much, I wouldn’t have to get up so much to pee

But the mother-neck bird does not care

About the fact that I had one more beer.

Hmmm! Beer batter. Beer batter!

It makes fish and poultry tastes all the more better

So off to the kitchen, with haste I might add

Tasty mother-neck bird! Rejoice and be glad!

Oh but I can’t do that to such a beautiful creature

Even if I am inundated with useless birdlike chatter

And pecking, and pecking on my window

And scraping and scraping at some retard hour, ya know.

Sigh

So I poured me some ponch-a-crème and into a bowl

A little bit too for the annoying little fowl

Then back to bed for a season of sleeping

For I was broke and not going to give anyone anything

Then sometime later, oh my word!

Something lay keeled over, it’s the mother-neck bird

Turns out eggnog was not in his diet

But I got Christmas dinner, oh what a riot!

And that’s how “The Mother-Neck Bird Saved Christmas [dinner]”

Merry Christmas one and all

Tracy j H

Sunday 23rd Dec.