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B is for the Mother-Neck Bird Saves Christmas

*Dear Friends... there IS an audio recording of this. it's rough but it is all yours for the listening pleasure. message me and the mp3 will be yours [most of you know how to reach me anyways]

The mother-neck bird flies high and higher
From its incessant song, it does not retire
Which would be fine on any other day
But it’s Christmas, and I want to spend it my own way!
With glad tidings told to my bed
And not a chip, chip CHIRP… all around my head.

"Listen mother-neck bird" – I said
"If you do not stop this singing, yuh go surely dead!"
Alas the bird was hard of hearing
And while I should be more caring
The fact remains, it’s an unholy hour
So you keep chirping, I’ll make plans to devour

Perhaps the fault lay with me,
If I hadn’t drunk so much, I wouldn’t have to get up so much to pee
But the mother-neck bird does not care
About the fact that I had one more beer.

Hmmm! Beer batter. Beer batter!
It makes fish and poultry tastes all the more better
So off to the kitchen, with haste I might add
Tasty mother-neck bird! Rejoice and be glad!
Oh but I can’t do that to such a beautiful creature
Even if I am inundated with useless birdlike chatter
And pecking, and pecking on my window
And scraping and scraping at some retard hour, ya know.


So I poured me some ponch-a-crème and into a bowl
A little bit too for the annoying little fowl
Then back to bed for a season of sleeping
For I was broke and not going to give anyone anything

Then sometime later, oh my word!
Something lay keeled over, it’s the mother-neck bird
Turns out eggnog was not in his diet
But I got Christmas dinner, oh what a riot!

And that’s how “The Mother-Neck Bird Saved Christmas [dinner]”

Merry Christmas one and all

Tracy j H
Sunday 23rd Dec.


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