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B is for 10:53pm

Life is not the CW.
It isn’t even AMC or USA.
Life is LIVE and the actors are scared and off script having rehearsed their lines all too much. Which is hilarious since some actors don’t rehearse at all.

And I imagine me stooping down in front the couch where he’s sleeping. Somehow – as all sleeping people are prone to do – presence of mind wakes him up and for a moment, he’s startled. And I say to him, quite pointedly, “I’ve been crushing on you for nearly a year because… I like you. I really like you.” I haven’t figured much past that. Maybe I tell him all the reasons why it wouldn't work. Yes. That’s in the script. TV likes the whole we’re-fated-to-be-but-not-really approach to relationships. Maybe he does. Maybe he has those lines. Maybe nothing happens. And nothing will happen. For in order for this script to get past the writers room and into action,  I have to set up the scene right. I have to ACTUALLY BE THERE. Present and accounted for. It has to be performed. Not hidden away behind some office building or the like.

I wonder if he cooks. I imagine cooking with him. You cook? No. Let’s. I guess. Chuckle. It’s like how it was with her. I imagined cooking with her. I wanted to cut carrots and drink wine and cook… with her. Because that’s me. That’s what I like. That’s what I’d like to do. Cook… with her. But that would mean being in the same room with her. That would mean being there for her. That would mean actually giving up the director’s chair and be the actor in this scene. And maybe we’d go off script but the improvision would work, would ADD to the imaginings that was built in the writers’ room. Right? Right.

I tell myself I’ll do it. Take the scripted and make it sound television; worthy of syndication; a story told throughout the years even after the last light goes out and the boom is gone. Honestly though, it is better to shut the whole production down now; scrap the pilot; this is dead in the water and life, as we know it, is not… the CW.

[a tiny little pre-story to a new series: "The Twelve Trials of Israel", coming in March... or April... or December. Meh]


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