Skip to main content

B is for OH! The Horror!


Terrance lost another client today. He forgot to remember the force with which he pushed thoughts into their heads must be carefully controlled. Now, as yet another client sat opposite him headless, bleeding over the still preserved body, all he could do was sigh and shrug at his colleagues. Worst of all… they hadn’t gotten paid yet.

Though, to be fair Angela Saxon never really used her head anyways. And it wasn’t as if Alexis Excalibur couldn’t put her head back together for them. It sure would help the presentation, but what was the point? This is the problem with having a Pusher on the payroll – you never know if, when or HOW their relatively volatile emotions would manifest. Sigh. In a real sense, Terrance did them all a favor. Saxon Beer only provided two percent of the company’s overall revenue stream yet demanded 80% of the attention.

She thought… in a way… the loss of this client is a call for celebration. They would ease on out of the boardroom, past the receptionist quietly cursing her baby’s father and down the elevator to BOBO’S BAR down the street. Not that SHE actually drank it’s just that….

Wait a minute, she doesn’t drink.

“TERRANCE!”
Terrance merely looked at her. He knew she knew that they all thought it was a good idea. But she needed to stand firm. Blowing a client’s head off in a presentation was NOT acceptable. Pushing thoughts into her head, equally so. Even if she liked it.

There was one thought he never pushed into her though. It annoyed her no end that he never saw the need to penetrate her cerebral cavity with that thought.

The blood flowed over the creatives. The boards were blood-logged and it grew exceedingly stressful to pry this one ad out of Saxon’s hand. Terrance stepped forward to help her pull it out. She declined his offer. Not for anger’s sake – even as she dodged arterial showers, she chuckled, he HAD done the company a huge favour. No, in Saxon’s hand was the ad that sparked the blowing. The last thing she needed was for a chest to explode post-mortem or something.

They stood at the door and looked back at the now deceased client– still sitting staggeringly straight; from this height, the city looked beautiful and in a real sense… so did the headless client who more and more reminded Terrance & Alexis of one of those fountain types, like the one in Woodford Square; head tilted far back so the water can bathe the birds and the vagrants.

“What are we going to tell Bill?”
“She decided to go in another direction”
“Sounds legit.”

“You know,” Alexis said as the elevator doors closed, “I have beers at the house.”
“Cool.”

Thursday, May 23, 13
© tracy j h

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

B in Future Traditions

THE COPY: I was sitting down listening to Norah Jones’ “Come Away with Me” and I began to think about future traditions. I thought… I want to sway with someone. Sway with my lover. To this music. More than that, I want that when we had an argument (and we’d have those because she’d be stubborn and I’d be pig headed (iChuckle)) we would never go to bed angry. We’d pop open a lover’s CD like this one and just sway. We may be as mad as hell but we would sway because we would never want to go to bed angry. And our children would know this. And they would never allow their partners to go to bed angry either because… well, because they would know better. They would sway. They would know it was better to sway. That’s the kind of man I want to be. Moreover, that’s the kind of tradition I’d like to pass on. Future Traditions. What's Yours?

B is for The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses

So Facebook is mourning. Why? A child was snuffed out. How does modern man respond? By blacking out their profile picture. So Facebook is mourning. Why? Crime has reached intolerable levels for the people of a twin island republic. How does civilized, contemporary society respond? By copying and pasting stern status updates. WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS! SEND A STRONG MESSAGE! COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR STATUS IF YOU WANT A CHANGE! Not denying that social media has its power. After all, just yesterday I read of a man who – in honor of Facebook’s role in the Egyptian Revolution – named his first child, Facebook. We do not deny that Youtube and the Twitter was a beacon for Tehran, but do note, these social media enterprises merely acted as a catapult for an already serious war on injustice. My people however… are not that serious. Thus I have decided on a far more satisfying approach. Ladies and Wilderbeasts, I give you, The League of Extraordinary Cutlasses. An organization geared towards ...

B is for The Etch-A-Sketch

I’ve always thought of the Universe as a big, big mouth. And when you make a statement, it opens wide to receive it. It (the universe) rolls it in its mouth and then spews it back out in a more interesting form. Say for example, me. I said once, I want to try/experience everything at least once. And through a series of [un] fortunate events, I have experienced some real heights. I said… I want to do everything. this brought on a wonderful debate with a friend of mine who explained to me in all honesty that iCan’t do everything. Enter John Locke’s voice screaming to the world – “don’t tell me what I can and cannot do!” But he was right though. My dear friend, not John Locke. Maybe. I can’t do everything. Except I probably could. Of course when given the opportunity to try my hands and attempting the everything, I feel my tongue lean back into my oesaphagus, and slowly gallop tactlessly down my arse. Yes… I am aware of how that sounds. I’ve performed poetry at various locations. I’ve pub...